The First “Seder” night

The first communal act of the Israelite nation, whilst still in Egypt, is described at the start of Exodus Chapter 12. This is part of Parshat HaChodesh – the Torah reading before Rosh Chodesh Nissan which is designed to get us in the mindset for the upcoming festival:

Exodus Ch. 12
(3) Speak to the entire community of Israel, saying: On the tenth day after this new-moon they are to take themselves, each-man, a lamb according to their father’s house, a lamb per household.
(4) But if there be too few in the house for a lamb, he is to take (it), he and he neighbour who is near his house, by the computation according to the number of people; each-man according to what he can eat you are to compute for the lamb. ספר שמות פרק יב
(ג) דַּבְּרוּ אֶל כָּל עֲדַת יִשְׂרָאֵל לֵאמֹר בֶּעָשׂר לַחֹדֶשׁ הַזֶּה וְיִקְחוּ לָהֶם אִישׁ שֶׂה לְבֵית אָבֹת שֶׂה לַבָּיִת:
(ד) וְאִם יִמְעַט הַבַּיִת מִהְיוֹת מִשֶּׂה וְלָקַח הוּא וּשְׁכֵנוֹ הַקָּרֹב אֶל בֵּיתוֹ בְּמִכְסַת נְפָשֹׁת אִישׁ לְפִי אָכְלוֹ תָּכֹסּוּ עַל הַשֶּׂה:

Verses 1 and 2 describe setting up the calendar and verses 3 and 4 describe the first thing that the Israelites need to do as “the entire community of Israel”. Each family is called upon to select the lamb that will become their Pesach offering – the lambs that will be slaughtered in a few days time on the day before the Israelites escape from Egypt.

This Pesach offering in Egypt is interesting. The Israelites’ first communal act does not involve them doing something together as one big group, but rather calls upon each family unit, each household, to perform a ritual act. Each household must select an unblemished lamb on the tenth of Nissan, kill it on the fourteenth of the month towards evening, daub its blood on the doorway of their house, and then eat it together as a household that very evening, roasted and in its entirety. The rules for preparing the first Pesach offering are slightly different from the rules for subsequent years. Indeed in the Ashkenazi world we now generally avoid eating roast lamb on Erev Pesach so that it should be clear that we are not enacting the Pesach offering. Still, a close reading of these early verses about the first Pesach offering can teach us much about Pesach and the life of community.

The Mechilta is the earliest rabbinic Midrash on the book of Exodus. Here are 3 small sections from the Mechilta which deal with the above verses:

1 Mechilta Parshat Bo Parasha 3
Suppose there were ten families belonging to one father’s house. I might understand that in such a case only one lamb should be required for all of them. The Bible therefore states: “A lamb per household” מכילתא פרשת בא פרשה ג
והרי שהיו עשר משפחות לבית אב אחד שומע אני שה אחד לכולם תלמוד לומר שה לבית אבות:

This Mechilta states that the basic unit for this community-wide event is not the extended family, which might involve 50 or so people, but the nuclear family or household – the people who live together. This is not the time for a knee-jerk return to the bosom of the patriarchy.

2 Mechilta Parshat Bo Parasha 3
“he is to take (it), he and he neighbour” –
Rabbi Akiva says: from where do we know that if a person wants to have his Pesach offering on his own then he is permitted to do so? As it says, “he is to take (it)”
Rabbi Yishmael says: from where do we know that if a person wants to enrol others on his Pesach offering then he is permitted to do so? As it says, “he is to take (it), he and he neighbour” מכילתא פרשת בא פרשה ג
ולקח הוא ושכנו. ר' עקיבא אומר מנין אתה אומר שאם רוצה אדם לעשות פסחו יחידי שהוא רשאי שנא' ולקח הוא ושכנו. ר' ישמעאל אומר מנין אתה אומר שאם ירצה אדם למנות אחרי' על פסחו שהוא רשאי שנא' ולקח הוא ושכנו.

Here we see that each person is permitted to choose the size and composition of the chavurah, the social group, with which they will eat the Pesach offering. Each person can either invite friends and neighbours to join a larger chavurah or they can prepare and eat in isolation. There is no preference being offered here to large families over those who choose to live alone

3 Mechilta Parshat Bo Parasha 3
Another interpretation: “by the computation according to the number of people” – Why is this said? Because when it says “each-man” I only know about the men. How do I know about a woman or one who sex is unknown or a hermaphrodite? Therefore it says “by the computation according to the number of people” to include everyone. מכילתא פרשת בא פרשה ג
ד"א במכסת נפשות למה נאמר לפי שנאמר איש אין לי אלא איש אשה טומטום אנדרוגינוס מנין תלמוד לומר במכסת נפשות ריבה.

This is not a man mitzvah – it is a person mitzvah. There is a radical inclusion of all adult members of the Jewish community regardless of sexual orientation. Everyone is included and the Pesach offering is made for absolutely every Jew.

Why do I think this is all interesting? This is the first Israelite communal act prescribed in the Torah. Moses and Aaron speak to the whole congregation of Israel, but the acts they call upon them to perform are to occur in private, in the home. This is a universal obligation; applicable to every single Israelite, but enacted in small units or chavurot. Jewish communal life begins with home rituals. The ideal size of the chavurah for these home rituals is set by the participants themselves. You can join together into larger chavurot or act and eat alone – each person must decide for themselves.

Let’s move now to the contemporary situation and think about the parallels. The Mechilta is describing a combination of maximal inclusion and obligation and minimal judgement on how people actual choose to socially play out their own obligations. There is great scope for choice around the Pesach Seder with dozens of books on the market offering new ideas for how to personalise these home rituals. There is a universal call to participate in a Seder but the actual rituals themselves occur in private and are therefore not open to communal censor and interference. The universal nature of the obligation means that everyone needs to be offered the opportunity to participate in the Seder of their choice. We should not assume that everyone in the community is already covered or that they are happy with the huge extended family Seder that they have been attending for decades. Bigger is not necessarily better or more intense! Ask lots of different people in the community if they would like to share a Seder with you and then be absolutely open to them making up their own minds and saying no! A successful community at this time will be one that facilitates everyone finding a place at a Seder that meets their individual needs. Community is expressed in a sense of communal obligation but a distinctly individualised local application. If there are Sedarim taking place in our community that last all night until the following morning, full of intense intellectual debate, then others need to know about them so that maybe they can participate too. Other Sedarim might be absolutely child-centred with oodles of singing and acting. Yet others might be minimalist – taking half an hour with a minimum of fuss and more than a pinch of scepticism. We need to put at least as much time and effort into preparing the contents of our Seder as we will into preparing the food and then to get on the phone and start inviting!

One final point. Parshat HaChodesh stresses that the entire Pesach offering needs to be consumed that very night. Verse 4’s complicated statement that “by the computation according to the number of people; each-man according to what he can eat you are to compute for the lamb” teaches us that whatever social group or chavurah you ended up in at that time, the chavurah needed to consume a single lamb without leaving any waste. Communal eating of the Jewish type can lend itself to the feeling that one needs to cook for days - providing food in ridiculous excess. The spirit of the first Seder in Egypt promoted judgement over excess – provide exactly the right amount of food for the number and type of people who are coming but no more! That really would feel counter-cultural but what an amazing challenge!